Posted by: emjb | November 14, 2007

Two: A Report


Two is: tall and weighs 38 pounds, and wears a size 8.5 boy’s shoe.

Two has: big white teeth and a huge grin, when he wants something, or when he’s trying to get your attention.

Two says the following words: apple, nose, Hi, Bye-bye, Dora, Ola, dog, Mama, Dahdah, Yay. But Two knows a lot more words he either can’t say or doesn’t need to.

Two has a love/hate relationship with: baths, naps and bedtime, food, being carried.


Two has silky brown hair that: gets into his eyes because he hates getting it trimmed. But Two’s mama can’t stand the thought of buzzcutting him, so for now he keeps his shaggy baby mullet.

Two will cry at: the sound of hair dryers and vacuum cleaners.

Two will laugh at: puppets, his father’s pointy-finger dance, the feel of ice cubes, and people who put blankets over their heads.

Two has no lovey except: his sippy cup, and never has.

Two practices: passive resistance and going limp when you’re taking him where he doesn’t want to go. Also using Daddy as his jungle gym.

Two has learned to: receive kisses but not to give them, that you must pet kitties gently, how to take off his shirt, how to climb into his own car seat.


Two has not yet learned: how to eat with utensils, why you can’t lie down in the middle of the street, to like chocolate, to go potty in the toilet, or how to get out of his crib–yet.

Two smells: mostly delicious, except when he doesn’t.

Two’s voice sounds: high and soft, squealy and giggly, and every now and then, growly like a dinosaur or a lion.

Two’s eyes: have changed from blue to green, and kept their long eyelashes. They light up when they see his daddy, and droop at bedtime no matter how hard he tries.

Two likes to wear: as little as possible, but also, his mommy’s shoes.

Two will celebrate his birthday by: eating cake and ice cream at his Mamaw’s house, surrounded by people who love him. And then taking a nap. Or not. You never know, with Two.




  1. He also does a very good meow, when prompted by the cat.

    T-minus 14 years till his driving test. I like borrowing worry…

  2. Awwww, give the little guy a hug and a kiss for me.

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