Posted by: emjb | September 17, 2007

Note to parents of daughters

If you have a daughter, she is a full human being.

If you have a daughter, she is a full human being deserving of all the things a good parent should give their child; a good education, the right to grow up and make decisions for herself, the right to strive and succeed and fail, like any other full human being.

I do not care what your particular wangdoodly interpretation of a particular Holy Writ tells you, she is not a piece of meat, a piece of property, a uterus for bartering, or less human than any male person on the planet, no matter how saintly his daily life, no matter if he is Jesus himself.

If you don’t believe these things, you are not striving to be a parent. You are aspiring to be a slave owner. You are someone who believes it’s ok to stunt a woman’s mind, deprive her of rights and freedoms she deserves, and even control her sexual and reproductive decisions by pressuring her into marriage with someone you choose. You are no better than Warren Jeffs the child-bride rapist, even if you use prettier language. Even if you yourself are a woman.

If you tell your daughter she is less human, less free, than a son, or than any man, because she is a daughter, you are not a parent. You have revoked your right to be her parent, to give her advice, to be part of her life, and she will be fully justified in getting away from you at the first opportunity and never seeing you again.

Your child is not your property. She or he does not belong to you. Accept that or accept that you are not and cannot be a parent.



  1. Amen.
    But what brought this on?

  2. Oh the link in my entry, for one. Mostly I have always been enraged by anyone who has a kid but doesn’t understand that teaching their child to think and be independent is the heart and soul of parenting.

    For the record, my folks were really good at this…I wasn’t swiping at them.

    And then, when I see people speaking to their daughters about submission and how they can’t listen to their own brains because God Won’t Like It, I just lose it. Because telling your daughter that her uterus makes her less of a full person, not someone with self-determination, is just about as hateful as it gets. It’s a betrayal of the responsibility of parenting.

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