Posted by: emjb | May 12, 2007

Attack of the jerkwad fanboys

OK, I’ll admit; not the hugest fan of Spiderman. Or any superhero. But if you read any comics whatsoever, they’re pretty hard to avoid.
Which is why I know that Spiderman’s girlfriend/wife/whatever is a nice girl named Mary Jane, who, as far as I know, has never starred in a porn film.

Anyway, it helps to filter the latest happenings in fanboy wankery through an inisightful feminist viewpoint such as Wonder Girl’s.

And it’s thanks to her that I found a link to this little bit of Mary Jane fanboy collectibilia that answers the crucial question: how can we reveal our utterly infantile and assholish attitudes towards women that will fully explain why no actual woman would want to touch us?

Ta-dah!

mjick.jpg

Oh wait..here’s a better look.

mj2.jpg

What you can’t see, unless you want to go to the website of the soft-porn version of the Franklin Mint that’s selling this crap, is that she’s also barefoot.

So let’s recap:

–Usually normal-looking female character pornified via big-boobing, stripper wardrobe, and back-breaking (and impossible!) submissive pose? Check!

–Female engaged in menial task that the male in her life should by all rights be doing for himself…and getting some weird sexual thrill out of it? Check!

–Female…shudder…barefoot while doing said task? Extra double check!

–Pitiful fanboys on the comment boards of the retailer’s site thinking said degredation is not disturbing but “hawt”? Extra triple check!

The damn thing’s apparently sold out. Despite the fact that any self-respecting woman who saw it ensconced in pride of place on her date’s coffee table would be completely excused for running far away, fast.

When faced with such a massively clueless bit of offensiveness, sometimes there is only one way to get your point across: turn the tables.

And so, I give you this lovely creation of artist logansrogue, featured on devildoll’s blog:

spideywifey.jpg

It may not be pretty, but it had to be done.

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