Posted by: emjb | November 10, 2006

You turn the screws….

Three interviews, people. THREE. Make up your minds, potential employers!! Sheezus. It’s like the Miss America pageant; I’ve had the Talent, Evening Gown, and Personal Interview segments. I’ll be damned if I’m going to put up with a swimsuit competition, though. I haven’t had the right plastic surgery for that.

I am trying very hard not to Care Too Much, and mostly doing ok at it. But as they’ve pretty much said that if they DO take me, they will need me to start within a week, I can’t help but feel like a big ol’ lying hypocrite at work, where my boss depends on me quite a bit. I’m not at all irreplaceable, it’s just that it’s going to be a pain in her ass to replace me so quickly. And of course next month is super busy, and so a bad time for her to be short handed. And I like her, so I feel guilty. Bluh.

I know, they could fire me tomorrow, blah de blah. I don’t care about the company. But the people I work with are decent sorts, and I was, frankly, kind of a mess coming back into the workforce. It’s taken me this long to hit my stride in any meaningful way. And this job was very forgiving of my vagueness and inability to focus, because it wasn’t ever really that hard.

Which is also why I want to leave..and there you go. Conundrum.

On the good side, we’re starting Nathan at daycare Monday. Matt is feeling a bit conflicted about it, while I’m pumped for the kid. New toys! Stomping on the smaller babies (that is, all of them)! Songs and stories and playgrounds and snacks and naptime! I hope he’ll love it. I think it will give him a break from Mom and Dad..and vice versa…and that we’ll all come out the better for it.

Meanwhile I spend the weekend doing the Dance of Tentative Hopefulness. It’s a very low key dance, you hunch up your shoulders and squeeze up your face while you clench your fists and whisper “Hope hope hope”. Here’s hopin’.



  1. I “randomized” my way over here!

    I hate the way potential employers think they can suject you to just about anything, and then, if they decided the “like you enough,” they want you to start immediately. That sucks. The exact same thing happened to me – three interviews over a periods of WEEKS, then they hired me and wanted me to start in less than two weeks. I felt awful about that, as I like my current job. Then after all that,m after I had given notice and after my job threw me a party, they withdrew their offer because they decided the second choice was a better “match”!

    Why can’t I just find someone who wants to support me in the style to which I have yet to become accustomed?

  2. Jessica, ah! that story freaks me out. They better not offer and then turn me down, dangit!

    But thanks for randomizing by…

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