Posted by: emjb | May 19, 2006

To a non-deluxe apartment located on the ground, actually

So we’re this close (no jinxies!) to getting our own place. We like what we’ve seen of the complex, and there’s room for our stuff and Nathan. I have a long-term temp assignment to provide the bread, and the relatives who initially offered to let us move in have basically told us they’d pay us NOT to live with them. Win-win! Except for the crushing blow to our self esteem.

No actually, we know we weren’t turned down due to terrible BO that no one is brave enough to tell us about, just for space and convenience reasons, and that’s fine. It was always an extraordinary favor and we were flabbergasted when they made the offer in the first place.

It does put paid to pursuing my original career plans to find something in Austin, at least till our lease is up. But Austin wasn’t returning my calls anyway. And hell, work is work right now. I’m not actually as upset as I expected to be staying in the Metroplex for a while. Though I don’t really know what to expect going forward. I have a book I want to write, and that’s important, but I still need to work, and it needs to not suck all the dignity from my soul, and that’s important too. Eating and paying rent remain important, and now and then spending time with my son.

Living in Austin, while still something I’d love to do one day, just isn’t something I can keep at the top of my list for now. Actually I don’t want to live in Austin, just in the Hill Country, which I think is the prettiest part of Texas and has lots of little towns that look interesting. But not today.

I end up focusing on just our move, and living without roommates for the first time in nearly 2 years, and yes, that is a wonderful thing. The new place is half the price and twice the nice of anything we could have gotten in NY, including such niceties as a garbage disposal, more than one closet, new carpeting and flooring, and central a/c and heat (I hated those damn radiators, HATED them. Every single one leaked and ruined the floor and they ate up precious wall space and you could never regulate them yourself. the pipes rattled like an army of elves was tapping on them all the time. HATE.)

Of course, to get all that you have to live in Euless, and yes, you will hear the jetliners overhead going to and from DFW. But then, in our first Brooklyn apartment, we were 1 block from the BQE and could hear the trucks rumble past all night. So, tradeoffs. I will run barefoot over the carpet and walk into the walk in closets and run the garbage disposal and rejoice. I will not slump too often into existential despair over why No One Will Hire My Damn Highly Qualified Ass, Goddammit too often. I will take Nathan to see his grandparents or make them come see us. It’ll be fine.

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Responses

  1. Space is good. Nathan will dig the planes, too. HellBoy is always searching the sky these days for airplanes or helicopters, and usually finds some. He wants to see an orange airplane, though, and I don’t think they make those.

  2. just wanted to say I’m sorry you felt unsupported by your midwives. I think that something I always do is talk about what I usually do at births and what parents want/don’t want. I am very clear to my clients that if they need anything – all they have to do is ask. Otherwise, I’m going to be there to assist them, but my philosophy is not to attempt to direct, manage or be in a woman’s birth space too much. My clients know this from the time they interview me all through their birth. We talk about it endlessly in our one-hour prenatal appts. It’s no surprise.

    I’ve also stepped in when I see that a partner or a client is very overwhelmed or scared. I am careful, though, to not do something that will keep her out of her body – usually it’s a hand in her hand or some soft words and a presence close by until I feel she’s more grounded again.

    I think that my philosophy of birth or who I am as a midwife does not fit in with all people – which is why I’m grateful there are more hands-on midwives out there for those that want such a midwife.

    I’m glad you responded to my blog…I have enjoyed reading your blog immensely!

  3. sagefemme thanks…I realized after I went over to your blog that I was responding to an older post of yours (this happens when you Google) but I appreciate your responses all the same.

    dr. mama, I think Southwest planes are still orange, or part orange: here’s a pic:

    The old Braniff planes were orange! Remember them? I rode on one I think, I was about four, and they allowed smoking. No telling what that did to my little lungs. The good old days…

    http://www.braniffpages.com/1965/pic10.html

    (scroll down)

    Guess you could at least show him some pictures, hee.


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