Posted by: emjb | May 3, 2006

A piece of the cacophany*

“Why aren’t women just more sensible?” he asked in frustration. “I mean, she had to know she shouldn’t have been in that place, doing what she was doing, dressed like that. ”

LADIES NIGHT!! Free drinks till 10!

“Hey, I’M not a rapist. Why are you so suspicious of men? I’m a nice guy!! It’s not fair to make me have to be so careful because other men have been such dicks.”

C’mon dude! Don’t be a pussy! You know you want a piece of that! Go over and get it! Don’t you have any balls?

“I think ‘feminism’ is too narrow. It sounds like you think women should be better than men. Why not be into ‘humanism’? You know, more men would get on board with equality if you feminists weren’t so shrill.”

Hey ladies, c’mon in! We’re having a Hot Bikini contest–win 500 bucks!

“Hey baby, shake that fine ass for me! Oh, come on, you know you want some. What’s the matter bitch–you a lesbian? Maybe you just need a good fuck!”

Hospitals employ a lot of women and that tends to attract, well, predators. That’s why we have a service to take you to your car. It’s reduced assaults by 90% since it was instituted.

“Yeah, her presentation was ok. She’s hot too. I’d hit it.”

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“Everybody knows that women can get sex whenever they want. Even ugly women can get laid if they find a guy desperate enough. Men have it much worse.”

When you’re out at night, keep your eyes on your drinks at all times. “I must’ve looked away for just a minute,” says Laura S. “After I took a drink, I started to feel woozy. Then nothing. I woke up the next day naked in that guy’s apartment. I was ashamed to tell anyone I’d been so stupid. But he seemed nice, you know?”

“God, she’s such a slut. She’ll sleep with anyone.”

I think feminism has stopped being useful. Things are much better for women now. They don’t have to worry about that stuff anymore.

*all quotes true, and heard or read by me.


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