Posted by: emjb | April 30, 2006

Leveling out

Today was better. Today was nearly perfect, in fact. One of the best days I’ve had in a long time.

Mom was having some of her husband’s relatives over and so Matt and I took the baby and booked it to the in-laws to get out of the way. We sat outside with them and talked and drank Shiner and watched the hummingbirds and butterflies enjoy their organic backyard paradise. It was a gorgeous day. We put the baby in his baby tree-swing and he giggled and kicked his little fat legs while his daddy pushed him way high.

I was able to enjoy it all because last night, Matt took most of the baby shifts AND got up early with Natty because he is just awesome like that. I got to sleep a full 8 hours plus for the first time in a week. Tonight is my turn, and tomorrow I get up with Natty and let his daddy sleep in. If I have to be unemployed, at least I can give Matt a break.

I’m looking forward to having tomorrow off, actually. I have plenty of things I could be worrying about right now, and I’m sure I’ll get back to them. But everything feels calm and still, maybe even expectant, as though things are about to change for me. That’s just an intuition, and may not mean a thing. But that’s all right too.

Right now, I’m just not worrying. I’m remembering a sweet day with the people I love, and my little boy laughing in the shade and sunshine, and the way the hummingbirds kept buzzing past, and the roses blooming on the gate. I’ve had so many dark thoughts the last few weeks, anger and despair and confusion. Today, I don’t know where they went, and I don’t care either.

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Responses

  1. You’re unemployed now? Whaaaa? Or did I miss something. You guys never call me. 😛


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