Posted by: emjb | January 4, 2006

Days of whine and more whine

It’s my second day back at work. I’m a mess. Not work-wise, because I could edit these books in my sleep, but every other way. I hurt, because I haven’t slept. I’m sad at quitting my job, though it’s a relief to have finally given my notice, I was dreading it so much. It seems impossible that I will have the energy to go home and pick up the baby tonight and maybe play with him and get him to sleep at some point so Matt isn’t stuck doing it 24-7. I barely watched him at all last night, and I feel guilty and I miss my naps when I was at home, which were apparently the only thing between me and the tired weepiness. I’m not eating well, because it takes energy to get food and eat it and I’d rather just fantasize about winning the lottery, hiring 6 nannies, and sleeping for a week or three. Or taking him to a nice orphanage so they can find him a mommy who can handle this with the grace and patience I seem to be lacking.*

Ugh, the whining. Ugh. I hate whiny me.

On the upside, I’ve already had 3 nibbles on new tenants for our apartment, thus fending off the Wrath of the Landlady, which, whatever lady. It’s New York, if you can’t rent this apartment, you are just lazy. Because I have seen much rattier holes go for more. As rat holes go, ours is a decent deal.

Have to leave now, go home and clean up a bit before Prospect #1 cruises by to check out our digs. Then, I don’t know. I’ll eat something. I don’t know if I’ll sleep. I don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t sleep. Or what Matt will do. or how Nathan will cope with his two sad cranky parents.


*yes, kidding. Duh. There is no such mommy.



  1. Sounds like you ARE editing them in your sleep!
    Hope you catch up a little this weekend.

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