Posted by: emjb | November 1, 2005

Dream a little dream of you

Dear Kid;

I am not prone to dreams, prophetic or otherwise. If the Cosmos tries to send me messages through my dreams, I imagine it has a hard time with my extremely practical mind. The dreams I do have all seem to involve having the wrong driving directions and wandering endlessly around dreamscape highways with exit signs I can’t quite read. Make what you want of that, armchair therapists.

But today, on your due date, (not that that means anything) I had a lovely dream about you, and so I thought I’d write it down.

It started out a different dream, a Left Behind sort of dream, except I was part of a group of people getting persecuted by the Christians and having to escape them. Fortunately for me, they seemed to be quite inept at keeping prisoners locked up. Not a surprising dream to have the day after Bush nominates a guy who believes husbands have part-ownership of their wives’ uteruses to the Supreme Court.

Anyway, the dream changed to a simple dream about being at a family reunion. I was at my grandmother’s house. I went to take a bath to get ready for the event, and my mucus plug broke. I was very happy, got out and got dressed, and went to tell various family members. The first one I ran into was my Dad, who has showed up in my dreams quite a lot since he died. He was happy for me and worried for me. Then I was telling the rest of the family at the reunion that I was pretty much in labor and going to have a baby in the next few days. They were happy for me too. Then suddenly, in the way of dreams, I was holding you, a sturdy near-toddler, a big baby with blonde hair who looked a little frazzled by all the people. As we walked away, I woke up.

I’ve never pictured you as a blonde, or as a big sturdy baby, but that doesn’t matter. It felt good to be holding you just for a few dream-seconds. It felt good not to feel tense or scared about birth, but just happy to have you and show you off.

I am as far from the hippie-granola-magic-crystal type of person as you could meet. For the most part, I think of dreams as just the brain sorting its laundry. All the baby books mention having baby dreams, but I haven’t had any this whole pregnancy till now. So I’m not going to decide that this one means anything in terms of telling me the future. You might still be the slim brunette I imagined, you might not come for another two weeks as I feared. But waking up thinking such happy thoughts about you can’t be a bad thing.

I was planning a wholly different type of entry today, one about not freaking out and letting nature take its course, etc. Which are still all good thoughts. But you know, I think I like talking about you this way much better.

See you soon,

Mom

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Responses

  1. I have held my baby in my dreams, too… it is quite amazing! So now you’re officially 1 day past your EDD, right? How are you feeling? I wish you the best of luck and look forward to your future posts, especially once your little one is here.

  2. I almost never dreamed about the baby before he came, which was kind of a relief. I don’t think dreams tell the future, but they sure can highlight one’s anxieties. Nice that your dream was calm and happy.
    My dad still shows up in my dreams, 36 years after he died.

  3. Isn’t it strange how that happens? It’s never weird when my dad shows up…and I never remember he’s dead. He’s just there, perfectly normally. It’s kind of comforting in a way.

  4. What a lovely dream!


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