Posted by: emjb | October 28, 2005

Please, no more magic swords. Have mercy.

Are you working on a fantasy novel? Then for Jebus’ sake, take The Fantasy Novelist’s Exam first. Answering “yes” to any question means that you should give it up already.

That goes twice for effing Robert Jordan. I hate that guy. And Darrell K. Sweet, who illustrates his covers, sucks equal amounts of ass. Ever heard of perspective and proportional human figures, Darrell? I used to have to stock these stupid books at Borders when I worked there, and the covers always gave me eyebleed. And there would be a new tome come out every damn year, and it would go on the bestseller list, and I would shake my fist at humanity once again.

(courtesy Bookslut).

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