Posted by: emjb | September 26, 2005

Late Night Observation of Feline Perspicacity

Our cat is very suspicious of me, and more bitchy than usual,* all of a sudden. I just went to the kitchen and felt someone staring at me; I look over and she’s looking at me with narrowed eyes. I’ve caught her doing that several times in the last few weeks. She also hisses at me more than normal when I approach, and is even less likely to let me pet her without running away or putting her butt towards me (which is how she deals with petting from despised persons like myself).

She knows: Something is Up. And she thinks it’s something she Will Not Approve Of.

Well, she’s right about that. I can’t imagine that she would approve of a tiny, hairless, wailing, drooling, pooping human being invading her space. I don’t know how she knows something is up, unless cats notice things like huge bellies. Maybe I smell different.

I kind of enjoy torturing her mentally in this way, I have to say. She is going to be so pissed when she finds out what all this is about.


*Usual is “pretty bitchy.” She really only likes Matt, and tolerates other people, men mostly. I am the human of last resort; the only time she was ever affectionate towards me was when she’d been home alone for a week when I showed up. She’s lived with me for nearly 8 years, and her opinion has never improved. I’ve always been a cat person too, and owned several who got along with me just fine. Matt always apologizes for her, and I tell him, look, this is a creature with a brain the size of a peach pit. She lacks opposable thumbs and poops in a box. Her low opinion of me isn’t exactly devastating.



  1. And she will say, “Merde!”

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