Posted by: emjb | March 15, 2005

Adventures in Food

On the complaint side: I am hungry all the damn time, while at the same time slightly nauseated by food. I have, so far this morning, eaten a bowl of cereal and a large frozen fruit bar, and two large apple granola bars which I finished about an hour ago. Then suddenly, I am roaringly hungry again, like I haven’t eaten in two days—I dive for the Triscuits like a starving man. I don’t really want to go to lunch this early. Before I was pregnant, I even occasionally skipped lunch. If I tried this now, the baby would take its revenge and make me pass right out. You’d see me lying in the street, drooling and twitching until someone took pity and gave me some Cheetos.

I am craving pasta right now, but I think I’m really craving tomato sauce. I ate a whole can of stewed tomatoes the other day that Matt had bought for his chili (forcing him to go out to the store again—sorry, Matt), and it was heavenly. I think lunch is going to be tortellini from the deli, lots of sauce. My other choice, a super-large fries with extra ketchup, doesn’t seem like the healthiest idea.

On the non-complaint side: I find all my previous food/body issues have vanished for now. I’m too hungry to care about getting fat. And also, just let me mention that I think the diets in pregnancy books are full of crap. If the baby wants broccoli, I’ll eat it, but so far, no go. Vegetables still taste like dirt to me, unless they are sautéed in delicious butter and perhaps also covered in cheese. With a little bacon. Most of the pregnancy books still rely on the Food Pyramid, that agribusiness-sponsored bit of kerfluffery that tries to tell us we need lots and lots of grains each day so that our friends at Monsanto can sell it to us for a nice profit.

Or else the books attempt to sell me on the virtues of kale and chard, which, whatever. I am not a rabbit. I have nothing against the flavor-including vegetables like carrots or corn, or even against celery, which makes an excellent delivery system for salt, peanut butter, or cheese (mmm…pimento cheese. Man, that sounds good). But the leafy greens and I have yet to see eye to, um, stalk. I take my vitamins, drink milk and juice, eat fruit and the veggies I can tolerate, and refuse to feel guilty about any of it. If my child is born with two heads, it will not be because I picked pork chops over alfalfa sprouts.

Besides, I sit next to a strict vegetarian at work, and I have two words for you: constant gas. This person is a symphony of belches and other unpleasant, sometimes smelly rumblings. I respect his choices, but if vegetables are going to taste bad going in and cause pain coming out…well, I don’t need it, friend. I might live forever, but I will be very, very cranky. And smelly.

I think I have to wrap up, because this food talk is making me really hungry. Later.



  1. I’m Jake. My blog is here and I’ve been known to comment at Alas.

    I saw you there, saying that you were a former fundamentalist christian and I got all intrigued because I’ve been talking to a bunch of fundies online lately and been being baffled by them. (The blogs I’ve been reading have been Christian Conservative, A Form of Sound Words, and Prophet’s Eye (how’s that for a self-aggrandizing title?).

    Anyway, I’ve been reading through your archives (actually, my computer reads them out loud to me while I plug away at my job, which requires hands and eyes, but little brain).

    I had a reason for commenting on this entry, but now I don’t remember what it was, so I’ll just leave this as my introduction to your blog. Feel free to email me if you like, as I have many questions about fundamentalism that I think I’d be more comfortable asking someone who is no longer a follower.

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